We Reserve the Right to Judge Your Recreational Choices

Indecent exposure suspect arrested after he returns to Wyoming park

At least the flashers stand still, says Miss Anne. The joggers, with their constant motion...the cyclists, with their cogs and gears...physical exercise! It's enough to give one the vapors.

Stop It With Your "Nature." Stop It Immediately!

Michigan's only urban state park sees nature taking root in vacant Detroit plant

Besides the rock-climbing wall and zip lines, planners also envision an interpretive forest, archery range and classroom space in the gutted but structurally sound building. Anthes said the DNR is aiming to open the activity center in the fall of 2012, and it's working with the Detroit Economic Growth Corp. and the developer, Troy-based Labor Management Fund Advisors.

 Seriously, who doesn't like ziplines?

MW33 would rather have the city saddled with yet another deteriorating abandoned building than entertain the possibility that public funds might be used to get urban kids on a climbing wall or bike path. Apparently Detroit doesn't deserve nice things.

Dispatches From The War On Health [UPDATED]

Grand Rapids Public Schools planning to announce multi-million dollar grant for health centers

Yes, that's what the dental exam chair is for. Also, and it pains me to have to explain this repeatedly, but HYDE AMENDMENT.

I imagine the school health workers are terribly disappointed every time they realize they've accidentally provided care to a child with a valid Social Security card, or even a child whose parents were born in the United States. Their two semesters of night-school Spanish are going to waste!

[Updated to note that the next day's followup story drew the same comments, coincidentally in the same order: Grand Rapids schools receives $2.6 million to continue school-based health clinics

No, abortion will be offered a la carte, except on Thursdays. They're running a special: every immunization comes with your choice of abortion or sports physical.]

The Hippocratic Oath is Only for People We Like, Part II

43-year-old man beaten with pipe; suffered head injuries

The commenters are probably just annoyed that it wasn't a copper pipe, and that they aren't the ones selling it to the salvage yard right now.

I had no idea that the hospital was an arm of the police department, and that Flint cops were authorized to withhold medical treatment as an interrogation technique. Perhaps Amnesty International should be alerted?

He seems terribly disappointed to discover that, despite his efforts, the United States remains "civilized." Don't worry, sweetie, your post-apocalyptic dystopia is right around the corner.

Precognition is amazing, you guys! All we have to do is screen the hospital intake records for names of people we know will commit crimes in the future, withhold treatment, and let MRSA take care of the rest.

Take Away the Soymilk! It's Against Our Religion!

Caledonia man puts low-cal spin on snacks with Fresh Healthy Vending franchise

B'wana is quick to chime in with a "Yuk." Incidentally, the products visible in the accompanying photo include juice boxes and chocolate chip cookies. We're not talking about carrot sticks; we're talking about Veggie Medley Straws and mini peanut butter crackers.

Yes, hotbeds of environmentalism like Griff's Ice House and Rivertown Sports. I, for one, can't imagine a roller derby bout or hockey game without locally-sourced organic trail mix. And I heard Walker Ice & Fitness Center is going to start composting!

I'm not surprised that people like junk food. I like junk food. Food manufacturers go to a great deal of trouble to make junk food that many people will like. I am surprised that loudly declaring one's disgust with healthy food or exercise has become, among reactionaries, a point of pride.