Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Vigilante Justice: Fun For The Whole Family!

Male suspect robs Flint business at gunpoint on Monday

This is a common refrain. Demands for a physical description are usually followed by assertions that it doesn't matter, because the Flint "Urinal" is too wishy-washy to print the truth.

And again: Two victims robbed, held at gunpoint in Flint on Saturday

To what purpose? So bphammer can hunt them down, heroically recover the stolen property, and administer an extrajudicial beating?

It's the reporter's responsibility to inform the community of ongoing events, including crime. It's not the reporter's responsibility to confirm commenters' dismal view of their fellow citizens or facilitate vigilante justice.

Cheetara would never rob anyone at gunpoint, nor would I. Our feminine gentility shudders at the thought!

But Ma, He Started It! [UPDATED]

Detroit Reps. Conyers, Clark call upon federal government to counter anti-Muslim sentiment

The existence of criminal or criminally unhinged Muslims absolves us of the responsibility to treat the remainder of the world's Muslims with common decency. How convenient!

[Updated with passive-aggressive bigotry and questionable syntax.

We are offended that you find our racism offensive!

From which we can conclude that a) there are no English-speaking Muslims, b) ickym is probably not a birther, and c) tolerance is kind of like pachysandra. As it spreads over the land, it slowly chokes out ideologies ickym doesn't approve of.]

Stop It With Your "Nature." Stop It Immediately!

Michigan's only urban state park sees nature taking root in vacant Detroit plant
Besides the rock-climbing wall and zip lines, planners also envision an interpretive forest, archery range and classroom space in the gutted but structurally sound building. Anthes said the DNR is aiming to open the activity center in the fall of 2012, and it's working with the Detroit Economic Growth Corp. and the developer, Troy-based Labor Management Fund Advisors.
 Seriously, who doesn't like ziplines?

MW33 would rather have the city saddled with yet another deteriorating abandoned building than entertain the possibility that public funds might be used to get urban kids on a climbing wall or bike path. Apparently Detroit doesn't deserve nice things.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Eternal Recurrence

Police say woman shot on Franklin Avenue in Flint may have been innocent bystander

Joe echoes the sentiments of previous featured commenters, while carelessly or deliberately eliding the "bystander" portion of the headline.

Amateur Comedy Hour

Diaper bag, swords stolen from Flint home

Same racist dialect, different racist.

Note that the article describes the stolen television in detail, but gives no further information on the swords. Disappointing.

For Consideration (Comedy Edition)

Frequent contributor Fpd047 knows exactly one word of Yiddish. Strangely, it's not "chutzpah," however appropriate that may be for a racist who uses a photo of a black man as his profile pic. Previously, he rediscovered a racial slur that escapes MLive's notice. And here: Show of hands? Anyone surprised the feds are investigating Flint?

The more often I read the word, the more it reminds me of is Mel Brooks. Use the Schwartz!

*  Proverbially, a man who murders his parents and then pleads for mercy as an orphan has chutzpah. Barbra Streisand also has chutzpah, for different reasons.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Dispatches From The War On Health [UPDATED]

Grand Rapids Public Schools planning to announce multi-million dollar grant for health centers

Yes, that's what the dental exam chair is for. Also, and it pains me to have to explain this repeatedly, but HYDE AMENDMENT.

I imagine the school health workers are terribly disappointed every time they realize they've accidentally provided care to a child with a valid Social Security card, or even a child whose parents were born in the United States. Their two semesters of night-school Spanish are going to waste!

[Updated to note that the next day's followup story drew the same comments, coincidentally in the same order: Grand Rapids schools receives $2.6 million to continue school-based health clinics

No, abortion will be offered a la carte, except on Thursdays. They're running a special: every immunization comes with your choice of abortion or sports physical.]

Cats And Dogs Living Together

Father and daughter worked together to extort money for sex, daughter testifies

Commenters soon tired of pointing out the extreme sleaziness of everyone involved in the case, and took to dragging in their betes noire, no matter how irrelevant.

No, the real problem is teachers' unions!

Seeing as neither father nor daughter are public school teachers, and may or may not have attended public schools which may or may not be in Michigan, this comment bears absolutely no relation to the article. Maybe chrisde got lost?

Well, I Guess If You Can't Take the Heat...

I created an MLive profile to follow frequent posters more easily. Out of misguided commitment to first principles, I used my real name. I have been made aware that I should not have done this.

I've been spotted by a frequent commenter who's not exactly unknown to me. So basically, if I start getting hate mail or threats, or if someone begins stalking me -- this is why, and this is where it began.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

One From the Vault

I begin with an orphaned comment. Took a screenshot, then took a break, and when I returned later this afternoon it had disappeared. I had so many tabs open at the time that I couldn't even remember where the comment had originally been posted. Some Flint crime story. Horrible but true, they're all blurring together for me.

I checked Arm's profile page, followed the URL he cites, and realized that he's not actually Christian. He's Christian Identity, without a doubt the most bizarre variety of white supremacist. Their entire ideology is based on convoluted biblical revisionism that Michael Barkun summarizes better than I could.

Here, "feygele" means faggot and "ZOG" means Zionist Occupation Government. I'd never actually seen that phrase in use before today.

Crazy how the anti-Semites love them some Yiddish.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has an intelligence file on Kingdom Identity Ministries. Of note: the group's leader is seeking a "Quality Dedicated Christian White Lady" for marital and secretarial duties.
Desire a believer who is intelligent, reliable, competent, pleasant, neat, and careful in details. An important, interesting, fulfilling life on rural acreage located in the beautiful Ozark Mountains. Must be racially pure, honest and of high moral character. Should have genuine sweet, gentle, feminine mannerisms and be easy to get along with. Government, Jewish, or other agents DO NOT qualify! Position should be regarded as a calling in Christian service, not just another job. Room, board, and spending money will be provided. 
If you think this opportunity may be right for you, send your address, phone number, a recent photograph, and a description of yourself to this ministry. Girls under 18 need to have their parents' permission. Ladies of our race from Europe and other countries abroad, who qualify, are welcome to apply.
There is a Christian Identity chapter conveniently located in Linwood, an unincorporated township near Fraser, which also has a Klan chapter. Circumstantial evidence doesn't look good.

Think of this as the first of a series: Profiles in Spite, examining a single commenter with varying degrees of humor and despair, and varying numbers of ostensibly amusing links.

Stop Repeating Yourself, Dammit! [UPDATED]

Man beaten and carjacked by three males in Flint

If nobody can figure out what you're talking about, are you still a bigot?

Going forward, I plan to use "lives in Dearborn" as an all-purpose insult, roughly equivalent to "you suck."

Robber pushes man into car and drives around Flint while assaulting victim

"Schvartzer" is a Yiddish term for a black person that's become more derogatory as society has become less racist. I imagine Fpd is disappointed that he can't use the word "nigger" and is forced to substitute a slur less widely understood. Also, if his second comment looks familiar, that's because he posted it yesterday. Twice.

[Updated to add two baffling comments. First, a warning that America has been too kind to derelicts, paired with a plea for everyone to just get along. Second, a Hitler quote. I can't tell if the quote is intended as direct reply or mocking commentary. Note the timestamps at 2:30 and 3:01 AM, respectively.]

I Can See The Future, And It's Better Without You

Victim from deadly shooting at Evergreen Regency Apartments on Sunday identified as Shaquille Vickers, 18

goobus has either been reading a different article; the piece doesn't offer any details about Vickers beyond his age. fuigb3 is correct, by the way. There's no Shaquille Vickers listed in OTIS, and an MLive search on his name turns up only a few references to the story about his death.

Thought experiment: take a person on Medicaid. Say she gets cancer. Her treatment won't be cheap, and it's on the taxpayers' dime. Why not just shoot her in the head? If there were a roving vigilante shooter with long-range precognition and a passion for reducing government spending on social programs, who among us would be safe?

Everyone Else Can Have Nice Things. Not You, Though.

Potential home buyers line up as developers release information on Flint's Smith Village development

The remainder of the thread develops in the manner one might expect.

Maybe the developers could save time and install cockroaches during the construction process. Come to think of it, why bother completing the project if the residents will inevitably tear it down? Just throw up a  few scaffolding-and-concrete shells, install plumbing, and leave some shoddy construction materials lying around. They'll never notice the difference!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Bodily Fluids and Hidden Agendas

One man makes big impact, helping AIDS orphans

Note that the school discussed is in Uganda, and focuses on education and community development. While Bethany Christian Services is best known as an adoption agency, they are not in fact cultivating the Nyaka AIDS Orphans School as an abundant source of cheap African babies. Or are they?

He's correct in one respect: earlier this year, the US finally lifted its longstanding HIV immigration ban. This means, naturally, that Bethany Christian Services has the go-ahead to import HIV-positive children, presumably via cargo container, and deliver them to the home of pullupyourpants. Naturally they will bleed all over the place, due to injuries sustained during transport. The local Red Cross chapter, not wanting anything to go to waste, will collect and redistribute the blood. The children and everyone infected by transfusions of their blood will be enrolled in Medicaid, which means that all their medical bills will be sent to pullupyourpants. Or something like that.

We Prefer Faux History, News

Historian Thomas Sugrue explains how Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck got it wrong on Detroit

We can at least agree that the problems facing Detroit, and eastern Michigan in general, have deep roots and complex causes.

No, we can't. Apparently the central issue is that black people are not only voting, they are voting for other black people. Where will it all end? CENSOREDNEWS looks to the past.

You Knew This Was Coming

FBI statistics released today confirmed that Flint is, indeed, the most violent city in America, with the highest rates of murder, assault, arson, etc., etc., etc. The community took this as well as might be expected.

Flint ranks as nation's most violent, FBI statistics show

Nobody's saying the coloreds are innately violent. They're just saying, you know?

It may interest Yep and valtwin to learn that in Atlanta, another majority-black city, both violent and property crime have steadily declined for several consecutive years. I blame the culture. Civic improvement is a powerful drug.

Only Fpd047 is brave enough to sound the alarm against the chilling advance of black CPAs, veterinarians, and high school teachers. But wait! Three minutes later, he reappears and doubles down.

I expect a bonanza of racist comments tomorrow when the ring-around-the-white-collar keyboard warriors arrive. Stand by for further developments.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Stay Classy, Jackson

Waitresses clad in bikinis to serve food and drinks at vacant Big Apple bar

Concept sound familiar? Yes, it's Grand Rapids' own Tini Bikini's, preparing to open a Jackson location. The establishment will provide much-needed employment opportunities for stupid whores on food stamps.

Men feeling certain urges will be relieved to hear that at bikini bars, anything goes! Everyone knows a whore can't cry rape.

No, WilliesBrat, you are setting back women's rights 50 years by coming down in favor of victim-blaming.

It's A Jungle Out There, Cont'd

One person found shot to death at Evergreen Regency Apartments in Flint

Note that the article does not identify the race of the victim, and the perpetrator remains unknown. Regardless, sme elaborates on the Downfall of Everything:

It's A Jungle Out There

Handgun missing from Flint home

Awkward phrasing gives the impression that the gun had been in a gun safe continuously since 1979. With Flint now on the record as America's most violent city, this seems unlikely.

Why, it's everyone's favorite Reconstruction caricature, the savage black brute! One wonders if fred would alter his position if the gun owners were themselves black.

And to My Left...

One day after the Rapture's no-show, some of the faithful are wondering what happens now?

Clearly, right-wing racists do not have a monopoly on eugenicist sentiment.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Style-Conscious Maggots

Flint teen missing after running away Saturday

No one is surprised that Old Man Mushmorton doesn't keep up with youth fashions.

While accurate, John's response is not conducive to a high level of discourse.

Contra mushmorton, she is in dreadful peril of being sold into White Slavery against her will.

Imjustsayin calls out czfan on his racism, but in the process re-smears the girl as a dirty whore. Nice job, buddy.

Have a Smoke, Kid --- It'll Cure What Ails Ya

Michigan's smoking ban popular, compliance high, studies say

Kick out the smokers and in come the babies. Apparently bars are now "all ages" establishments, which I imagine comes as a surprise to Michigan servers and bartenders. And smokey, the difference between pinkeye and lung cancer is that pinkeye responds to antibiotics. I'm just saying.

In related news, I'm naming my next punk band "Hedlise and the Snot Jerms."

Yes, Every Single One of Them

Parents who don't pay child support could get the boot from Friend of the Court

Every divorce law- or child support-related article is guaranteed to descend into a morass of stupid lazy bitches, corrupt county employees, etc. Et voila:

Note that per a related article ("The wheel boot is a better alternative than jail for parents behind on child support payments, official says"), Friend of the Court  only possesses two boots. I will hazard a guess, based on the 77 total comments, that there are more than two deadbeat dads in Jackson County. If FOC boots two cars, the rest of the deadbeat dads can just team up and organize a ride-sharing program. Or they can crack open another Busch and stew about the bitches who did them wrong, whichever.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Drive-By Shooting Sparks Drive-By Hate Speech

Macomb Daily: Detro it man shot in Warren

The city of Detroit called. It wants you to know that, to date, crime is down slightly this year. You're welcome. Current statistics are available on the DPD's website.

I would offer links to a small fraction of the creative individuals presently working in Detroit, but I doubt Alice is listening. There's nothing quite like drive-by hate.

This article attracted 10 comments, six of which are straight up, unfiltered hate. This might be some kind of record.

"Our great president" is laying it on a bit thick, but overall Watcher has the right idea.