Scheduled Outage

I will be offline for a few days this week, so blogging will be light to nonexistent. I will return reinvigorated next week. To tide you over, I offer a thread of beauty. More of this, people. You're keeping storytelling alive in our crazy world.

Ain't Nobody Here But Me (Redux)

Sometimes people ask if this blog is a paid endeavor. It is, but only insofar as you, the readers, pay me, the blogger. For reasons I can barely explain, I've become passionate about this project. It occupies a moderate amount of my time, and time has value. If you read this blog regularly and find it valuable or at least entertaining, consider tossing me some change.

Commenters Ask: Where's the Hate? [UPDATED]

Gay Straight Alliance faces some opposition at Columbia Central High School

Once again, the very existence of a support group for gay and questioning teenagers constitutes an existential threat to heterosexuality. Surprisingly, most commenters hold off on blatant hate in favor of a passive-aggressive approach.

For every Exodus International "success story," there's a corresponding high-profile sex scandal, usually involving evangelical preachers and rent boys. I'm just saying.

It's rare to find an MLive commenter calling on others to lower the level of discourse.

For the record, this commenter is an idiot. The allegedly "censored" remarks are still online as of this post:

One gets the impression they're lurking, waiting for someone to point out that they're being hateful, so they can claim they're being stifled by political correctness.

It's like this: you can laugh at whatever jokes you want, as long as I can continue to remind you why laughing at those jokes makes you a hateful, mean-spirited person.

[Updated: I found the hate!

Seeing as the Senate repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and the Supreme Court ruled that outlawing butt sex was unconstitutional, BO hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Don't tell BO, but I think Fantabulous Fudge employees might already be married.

It's possible he's confusing "abhorrent" with "aberrant." Then again, maybe he does feel that strongly.]

I'm Glad We Could Clear That Up

Returning to the dreadful case of the high-achieving Flushing high school graduates, Old Man Mushmorton clarifies who he does and does not hate.

I think this means he promises not to call them "chinks" to their faces. Nobody tell him about the opium dens, though. I don't want to spoil his bucolic interlude. Also, what did I tell you about That Phrase? Consider yourself warned, buddy.

Oh, I see how it is. Sorry. I'll pipe down.

Vigilante Justice: Fun For The Whole Family!

Male suspect robs Flint business at gunpoint on Monday

This is a common refrain. Demands for a physical description are usually followed by assertions that it doesn't matter, because the Flint "Urinal" is too wishy-washy to print the truth.

And again: Two victims robbed, held at gunpoint in Flint on Saturday

To what purpose? So bphammer can hunt them down, heroically recover the stolen property, and administer an extrajudicial beating?

It's the reporter's responsibility to inform the community of ongoing events, including crime. It's not the reporter's responsibility to confirm commenters' dismal view of their fellow citizens or facilitate vigilante justice.

Cheetara would never rob anyone at gunpoint, nor would I. Our feminine gentility shudders at the thought!

For Consideration (Comedy Edition)

Frequent contributor Fpd047 knows exactly one word of Yiddish. Strangely, it's not "chutzpah," however appropriate that may be for a racist who uses a photo of a black man as his profile pic. Previously, he rediscovered a racial slur that escapes MLive's notice. And here: Show of hands? Anyone surprised the feds are investigating Flint?

The more often I read the word, the more it reminds me of is Mel Brooks. Use the Schwartz!

*  Proverbially, a man who murders his parents and then pleads for mercy as an orphan has chutzpah. Barbra Streisand also has chutzpah, for different reasons.

Well, I Guess If You Can't Take the Heat...

I created an MLive profile to follow frequent posters more easily. Out of misguided commitment to first principles, I used my real name. I have been made aware that I should not have done this.

I've been spotted by a frequent commenter who's not exactly unknown to me. So basically, if I start getting hate mail or threats, or if someone begins stalking me -- this is why, and this is where it began.

One From the Vault

I begin with an orphaned comment. Took a screenshot, then took a break, and when I returned later this afternoon it had disappeared. I had so many tabs open at the time that I couldn't even remember where the comment had originally been posted. Some Flint crime story. Horrible but true, they're all blurring together for me.

I checked Arm's profile page, followed the URL he cites, and realized that he's not actually Christian. He's Christian Identity, without a doubt the most bizarre variety of white supremacist. Their entire ideology is based on convoluted biblical revisionism that Michael Barkun summarizes better than I could.

Here, "feygele" means faggot and "ZOG" means Zionist Occupation Government. I'd never actually seen that phrase in use before today.

Crazy how the anti-Semites love them some Yiddish.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has an intelligence file on Kingdom Identity Ministries. Of note: the group's leader is seeking a "Quality Dedicated Christian White Lady" for marital and secretarial duties.

Desire a believer who is intelligent, reliable, competent, pleasant, neat, and careful in details. An important, interesting, fulfilling life on rural acreage located in the beautiful Ozark Mountains. Must be racially pure, honest and of high moral character. Should have genuine sweet, gentle, feminine mannerisms and be easy to get along with. Government, Jewish, or other agents DO NOT qualify! Position should be regarded as a calling in Christian service, not just another job. Room, board, and spending money will be provided. 

If you think this opportunity may be right for you, send your address, phone number, a recent photograph, and a description of yourself to this ministry. Girls under 18 need to have their parents' permission. Ladies of our race from Europe and other countries abroad, who qualify, are welcome to apply.

There is a Christian Identity chapter conveniently located in Linwood, an unincorporated township near Fraser, which also has a Klan chapter. Circumstantial evidence doesn't look good.




Think of this as the first of a series: Profiles in Spite, examining a single commenter with varying degrees of humor and despair, and varying numbers of ostensibly amusing links.

How to Tell If You Have Been Raped [UPDATED]

Doctors convicted of rape could lose Michigan license

Commenter raymondpistachio is fond of declaring that assault and sexual harassment of women are part of a nefarious feminist plot, and that every rape is another salvo in the covert "War on Men." As far as I can tell he has no interest in any other topic.

Thus far, ray has confined himself to dismissing all sexual assault or harassment cases as either fabricated or somehow not rape. He knows where the boundary lies, and won't actually deny that rape occurs, and that it is a criminal act. I have taken to amusing myself* by imagining, in excruciating detail, exactly what must transpire in order for raymondpistachio to deem the proceedings Real Actual Rape.

Say that ray's actual, personal grandmother, the most harmless and endearing old lady anyone can imagine, is at home asleep in her Lanz of Salzburg nightie, and say that a maniac escaped from the county jail breaks into her home, bludgeons her about the face with a reproduction lamp, and has his way with her. Is this rape?

Well. There's a distinct possibility she's been raped, but we'll have to establish a few facts before we can determine whether or not the bitch had it coming. First, was she reading a book? A book of dirty stories that got her hot and bothered? NOT RAPE. Did the maniac enter through a window? Was the window locked? Did he break it in? Or did he enter through the door? And why wasn't that door locked? NOT RAPE. Did she fight him off? With sufficient vigor that her heart murmur started acting up? Did she suffer increased injury as a direct consequence of her resistance, and if not, how does this differ from rough sex? NOT RAPE. Did she scream "No, help, stop, I'm being raped," regardless of how far away the nearest neighbor or her dentures were at the time? NOT RAPE. When the maniac fled the scene, did she immediately call her loving grandson raymondpistachio so he could confirm the validity of her experience? There are just so many unanswered questions!

Clearly, while Real Actual Rape remains a distant possibility, it is never found in contemporary society, because women are lying whores. Except for feminists, who are lying harpies, on account of being so ugly they can't give it away.

[Updated to add ray's eloquent defense of Dominique Strauss-Kahn: French politician on suicide watch in New York

Note that the article does not state whether the woman's lawyer is a public prosecutor or private attorney, nor does it mention whether he is working pro bono. Ray appears unaware that "the state" in its entirety is not capable of appearing in court, and usually engages "private attorneys" to perform this task. As for the rest, I don't even know where to begin. He passes up a chance to call the woman a dirty slut, but packs nearly every other sexual assault-related myth into a few short paragraphs.

* Obligatory disclaimer: I am  aware that rape is not funny. You're welcome.

You're A Long Way From Home, Pardner

Activist blames Detroit for murder after SMART rejects her 'Leaving Islam?' bus ad

I'll defer to the reporter on this one:

Geller's argument, a link to which we've seen retweeted several times today, contains so many half-truths that we don't know where to begin...
1. The City of Detroit has nothing to do with SMART, which as its name implies, is run by a suburban authority with representatives from Oakland, Macomb, Wayne and Monroe Counties. She's suing SMART, so she should probably know that. Those people she just called "evil clowns" have nothing to do with the case.
2. Geller's proposed ad reads: "Fatwa on your head? Is your family or community threatening you? Leaving Islam? Got questions? Get Answers!" and directs people to a website warning about religiously-motivated honor killings. Mokdad allegedly was murdered in Warren, where the ads might have ran. However, she had only moved to Michigan recently, was living in Grand Ledge (far outside of SMART's service area) and only visited Warren to help her grandmother move some belongings.

 I was surprised to discover that vanzorge, despite the name, hails from North Bergen, New Jersey and is active on NJ.com. Perhaps this is his summer home. Just as monarch butterflies unerringly flock each winter to the same fir groves of northern Mexico, so this troll has, with the change in seasons, sought a different bridge beneath which to lurk.

Here we find him in his native habitat:

I'm sure he and closetheborders will become fast friends.

A Link-Free Interlude

I often wonder how many of the commenters advocating forced sterilization of parents on welfare, mothers of criminals, women of a criminal bent, etc. are anti-abortion in private life. I've actually scanned pages and pages of certain commenters' posting history for incidence of the words "abort" or "abortion." Do they regard abortion as a valid, ethically neutral choice, or do they consider it a tool of social control to be wielded against those deemed undesirable?

I haven't yet found a clear instance of a single commenter declaring that welfare mothers should be sterilized, then turning around and condemning abortion. I'm not looking for hypocrisy, exactly. Hypocrisy requires a coherent political and ethical worldview, which few enough commenters display. I'm looking for confirmation that they truly hold eugenicist views.

Likewise, I wonder how many commenters who demand license to micromanage and impose intrusive regulations on people receiving public assistance are small-government conservatives in private life. I've quoted Anne Lamott before, and her aphorism has become my watchword: "You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out God hates all the same people you do."

In this world, there are the fit and the unfit, composition of such groups to be determined by any idiot with a screen name. The fit may be allowed to reproduce, seek happiness and prosperity, etc., under circumstances dictated by an elite composed, naturally, of MLive commenters. The unfit aren't even granted a guarantee of bodily autonomy. Permission to reproduce may be doled out, if they are well-behaved, at the sufferance of the elite. And this constitutes the totalitarian nanny state the very same commenters profess to abhor.

Here's the rhetorical question: is this doublethink? Do they skate over the cognitive dissonance? Or do they recognize the dissonance yet believe that they will somehow, through great moral and financial rectitude, retain their privileged position?

Ain't Nobody Here But Me

I started this blog at the beginning of March thinking I'd post once a day, or even once every other day, to avoid burnout. Somehow I became rather passionate about the project. It occupies a moderate amount of my time, and time has value. If you read the blog regularly and find it valuable, consider tossing me some change.

Everywhere the Same

Seeing as this blog has accrued a regular readership in the double digits, I've deemed it time to pander to the audience. You're welcome.

In my internet perambulations, I found mention that Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey had publicly disparaged one of his more notable constituents. For some reason I followed the link. Everything looked mighty familiar, from the screen names to the abysmal level of debate.

taxedenough6 meets hatintaxes-- do you sense the love connection?

The phrase "shut up and sing" appeared every other comment or so. It's not clear why nancy8 would want to hear Springsteen sing if she dislikes him so much.

(This article currently has 137 comments; a piece about the Springsteen tribute band that played Christie's inauguration ball after the real Springsteen declined drew 54 comments.)

A bit of searching revealed that NJ.com and MLive.com have the same corporate overlord, per Wikipedia the 46th-largest company in the United States. Advance Publications also owns Conde Nast, which indirectly ties my New Yorker subscription to the rantings of semi-literate trolls in Hillsboro, Oregon. My neck feels funny now.

To sum up: every ominous factoid you've heard about media consolidation is likely true. Not only are there ignorant, bigoted people everywhere, wherever you go you'll find exactly the same ignorant, bigoted people, operating under different aliases. Back into the swamp!

How We Came to Be

[Edited below for accuracy: per inside sources, the story in question simply rotated out of the main feed. It wasn't pulled, as I assumed at the time.]

I've been rather busy the past few days, in ways that have hindered me from getting online. In lieu of a standard post, I will explain Why I Blog. Fear not: hideous MLive trolls play a crucial role, though one documented only with difficulty.

A few weeks ago, in early March, I read a series of MLive posts regarding a particularly awful domestic abuse case. I don't remember the woman's name. The website broke a single lengthy article into four posts, each examining a different facet of the situation. The woman met, had a child with, and married the man before he turned on her. He isolated and physically abused her, told her if she left he'd kill their children, locked her in the house when he went to work. As I remember, they lived in a trailer in a rural area. She had no money, no transportation, and no support beyond what he intermittently doled out. The bitter irony was that she had once worked as a counselor for women dealing with abusive partners or domestic violence. She knew the signs, but she was no less vulnerable. As it turned out, he had been the prime and only suspect in a previous rape case. Case dropped not for lack of evidence, but for inability to establish reliable contact with the victim.

I likely read the MLive posts out of order, so it's difficult for me to reconstruct the original article. I can no longer cite via hyperlink. Her situation worsened progressively, until one day she thought he wanted to kill her, would kill her, and she fled their trailer and dragged herself down the road until she managed to attract enough attention for a rescue. MLive posted a hospital bed photo. She was unrecognizable.

The comments on each post progressed along the lines one might expect. Why didn't she just leave, why did she marry him, why did she have that kid in the first place, etc., etc. I will venture that every person mystified as to why she didn't just leave was a) male and b) hadn't bothered to read the part about her being locked in a trailer in the middle of nowhere.

Midway down a page, I found the most despicable comment I had seen to that point. It stated, though not in so many words, and in a more rambling manner, that
a) women like bad boys
b) women like feeling as though they're being martyred by their men
c) the woman in question likely met the previous criteria
d) she just wanted to be able to tell her story on Oprah.

I imagine that when I find myself pinned to the floor of a trailer in rural Michigan with my husband cinching a telephone cord around my neck, the first thought in my mind will be "Oh, wow! When I survive and sell my story, I bet this will play really well on Lifetime: Telvision for Women!"

So I flagged the comment. I laboriously explained to the automated system that these statements viciously slandered the woman concerned and by extension denigrated all women. The next day I checked whether the comment had in fact been removed. Everything relating to the story was gone. I can only conclude that every single post attracted such a shitstorm of hateful comments that MLive's online-content managers felt obligated to pull the story. All that afternoon and evening, I retold this story as The Most Despicable Thing I Had Ever Seen On MLive. The next day I bitterly regretted not having preserved and documented it when I had the chance.

And there it is. I didn't remember the woman's name, I didn't remember where she lived. Though the admins pulled every post from the Grand Rapids main feed It's all still there, if you search for it. The next day I knew what I ought to do.

Help, Help! I'm Being Oppressed!

State Supreme Court upholds rights of citizens to film cops while performing duties

Two commenters uphold free speech, and bemoan their lack of same:

B'wana? Haven't we met before? Wasn't it just last week you were bashing Islam? Not to mention his fine work in response to yesterday's Gov. Snyder pushes for regional cooperation in Michigan; Is Great Lakes Bay Region ahead of curve?

william48433 seems annoyed that MLive administrators will not allow him to spew context-free invective. The following post was removed from its original thread, but still appears on his profile page:

Note that the editorial in question discusses the need for civility at Flushing Township board meetings, which have in recent months degenerated into name-calling and accusations. Oh, dear.