I Am at a Loss For Words [Updated]

Prosecutor dismisses new science, defends rape conviction of Detroit man imprisoned for 25 years

It's rare and terrifying to find racism this open and indiscriminating. Usually commenters use coded language or frame their bigotry as a rational charge against a particular subgroup. This one doesn't feel it's necessary to do so. It's hard to tell if he expects others to chime in and agree with him. The ellipses lend his comment a wistful note, as if he's imploring others to join him but fears they don't share the strength of his conviction.

[Updated to add: The above comment was flagged and removed within two hours, but the commenter returned an hour later to double down, this time gaming the use-mention distinction.]

You Just Don't Know When to Quit, Do You

Quran-burning crank Terry Jones still planning Dearborn protest this week

At first I couldn't tell if paned65 was making a misguided attempt at satire, but his recent work indicates that he means business.

Not all white men are terrorists, but there sure are enough of them to promote the stereotype. Not all youth pastors are sexually abusive, but there sure are enough of them to promote the stereotype. Not all MLive commenters are bigots, but there sure are enough of them to promote the stereotype.

Note that the event's original organizers bowed out after he announced his plans. Terry Jones has so much hate he makes other haters nervous. This is a perverse kind of achievement, but when you're internationally despised I suppose you have to take what you can get.

Missing the Gunpoint

[Updated to note that this comment appears to have been removed.]

Sheriff: Girl, 12, unlikely to be charged as adult after allegedly stealing gun, holding up store

Group W Bench helpfully obscured a Word You Can't Say on the Airwaves, but that's not the obscene part of the sentence.

I initially misread this comment and assumed he hoped the cops had roughed up the girl. Actually he's referring to the store employees. Slightly less horrible, still not good. First, beating the shit out of a child in the name of vigilante justice won't teach her ethics or respect for the rule of law. It will teach her that laws are enforced by the powerful for their own convenience, with violence if necessary. Second, does he want the girl punished for lawbreaking? Charging a 12-year-old as an adult is a perversion of the justice system. For stupidity? Last I checked, "doing something retarded" did not, in and of itself, merit a beating.

The Hippocratic Oath is Only for People We Like

Portage police looking for woman after meth lab explosion in house with child inside

Would matt also deny medical care to death row or life-sentence inmates, on the grounds that they're going to die in prison anyway? If he withholds pain medication, would he at least deign to treat these people's burns?

On a related note, you should read this contemporary version of the Hippocratic Oath. So should matt, though I doubt he'd approve of it.

Education: There's Something for Everyone to Hate!

Grand Rapids school and union leaders say high poverty, high needs students lose under the governor's proposed budget

The aptly named noclue has a suggestion on what to jettison. Unfortunately, the science is against him.

I have never seen a purer example of the concern troll on MLive. J.J. Forte can only express approval if it's wrapped around veiled racial slurs. He seems to imply that he, too, is an educator, which makes his comment even more insidious.

Dateline: Flint

As far as I can tell, the Flint Journal's MLive feed is now a crime blotter with human-interest articles lightly interspersed.

Police identify second victim in Sunday's double homicide as Devon McCaskill, 17

Northside Flint business owners, residents to protest discrimination of police protection

Dialect is funny. Social Darwinism is funnier.

Woman arrested outside bus station for stabbing her baby's father in arm

Have I mentioned that minstrel-show dialect is hilarious?

We Demand Hideous Torment

Time cover story on Rob Bell asks, 'Is Hell Dead?'

This doesn't qualify as hate speech. It is, however, mean-spirited and idiotic. I'm reminded of Anne Lamott's comment, "You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." beerbucket appears to practice the kind of Christianity with the compassion taken out, where instead of reaching out to people with love and forgiveness, you point and laugh at them.

Christian Bell does my work for me. Keep the faith, man. And by "faith," I mean "Zoroastrianism."

We Only Favor Retroactive Abortion

Both of these posts are a day old. Sadly, the comments I'm highlighting are still up.

Mother who had baby in car with mobile meth lab pleads guilty to felony

Apparently rehab is only for the rich and famous. Another police-blotter story, a little farther north:

Homicide suspect could be responsible for several Flint shootings this year, Chief Alvern Lock says

The people in these articles have done horrible things, but they are not animals. Furthermore the kid's parents are not mentioned at all, and without information any attack on them is baseless.

 I'm always disturbed by how easily people can reclassify others as subhuman, and how often they assume that [fill-in-the-blank undesirables] constitute a static group that can be eliminated with no effect on nice people like them. Eugenics: Now that's Pure Michigan.

Other People Are Browsing Websites of Which We Disapprove, Part II

Don't Filter Me: ACLU asks second Metro Detroit high school to stop blocking LGBT resource sites

This story looks familiar because it is familiar. In fact, it's the exact same story I posted about two weeks ago. Fortunately commenter bucky's dad calls out B'wana, doing my work for me. Thanks, man.

He Can't Stop Picking at It, Part II

Fixing one of Michigan's worst schools: Examining Godfrey-Lee's progress

The students and staff of Godfrey-Lee High School took lemons, made lemonade, and served it up in a glass inscribed "Learning Is So Important, You Guys!" Then closetheborders poured out their lemonade and replaced it with a Dixie cup of warm piss.

Furthermore, he does not appear to understand how "public schools" work. It's simple: people pay taxes so people can go to school. Sometimes these are actually the same people. We do this not only because learning is important, but because learning increases the likelihood that people will find good jobs and thus not need the welfare that closetheborders decries.

Your 1st Amendment Right to Eternal Hellfire

Learn about Michigan Muslims at community talk

Note that the dateline on the post is 8:52 PM, and the dateline on the first comment is 10:04 PM. It's as if TheDutchman suspects no one will believe he's a Christian unless he continually reaffirms his total lack of interest in any other faith communities.

It's a free country, and you are free to reject the True Way and condemn yourself to eternal torment while I sit smugly by, bemoaning your regrettable choices.

Perhaps the Muslim community would feel less need to hold community outreach events explaining the basics of their religion and how totally unscary it is if people like momof6inmich stopped framing religious diversity as a struggle that Christians mean to "win."

Does That Mean...? No, Wait... Oh, Never Mind

Why I'm thankful for Planned Parenthood

Not a news item per se, but a post from Susan J. Demas' blog Capitol Chronicles. This comment is easily the most mind-bogglingly stupid I have seen thus far.

To recap: Margaret Sanger advocated forced sterilization and segregation of the "unfit" which was and is a despicable position. Amazingly, snarkyone precedes his condemnation of Sanger's belief in eugenics with another statement promoting eugenics. How, exactly, does rejoicing over low-income, Democratic-voting "jack wagons aborting themselves out of existence" differ from Sanger's "More children from the fit, less from the unfit?" And how does snarkyone fail to notice this congruence?

We Only Want to Study History That Makes Us Look Heroic

New book looks at 'mainstream' KKK in 1920s Newaygo County and Michigan

This looks like a fascinating book. British historian Craig Fox describes his project here, including the awkwardness of explaining to the nice lady showing him the library's local history collection that he's writing a book about her relatives' adventures in the Klan.

History, unfortunately, is not a series of glorious tableaux, nor is it a pageant of progress. In fact sometimes there's no progress at all.

czfan can't quite bring himself to defend the Klan, but he can point out that Some People are just out of control. His comment jibes with the public, sanitized rhetoric of hate groups that try to position themselves as simple advocates for law and order and or traditional values. The key point here is not that czfan is a secret member of the Council of Conservative Citizens or what have you, but that a watered-down version of their rhetoric remains sufficiently mainstream that czfan can state this as something obvious, something everybody knows.

Note that Great Britain abolished slavery in 1807, one year before the United States even did so much as halt its trans-Atlantic slave trade. Like czfan, NOBOMA can't openly embrace the Klan, but he can fling ad hominem attacks at a third party.

Detroit Needs Young People. Except Not You.

Former Goodrich resident prepares to open state's first hostel in Detroit

The key to revitalizing Detroit is welcoming and supporting young entrepreneurs and new businesses.

I'm sorry, I meant "welcoming entrepreneurs and businesses that a majority of MLive commenters approve of."

Note that Hostel Detroit's reservations page clearly states that reservations must be made in advance through the website, and that no walk-ins will be accepted. Also, Detroit residents are apparently subhuman troll-like creatures that live under overpasses.

Everywhere the Same

Seeing as this blog has accrued a regular readership in the double digits, I've deemed it time to pander to the audience. You're welcome.

In my internet perambulations, I found mention that Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey had publicly disparaged one of his more notable constituents. For some reason I followed the link. Everything looked mighty familiar, from the screen names to the abysmal level of debate.

taxedenough6 meets hatintaxes-- do you sense the love connection?

The phrase "shut up and sing" appeared every other comment or so. It's not clear why nancy8 would want to hear Springsteen sing if she dislikes him so much.

(This article currently has 137 comments; a piece about the Springsteen tribute band that played Christie's inauguration ball after the real Springsteen declined drew 54 comments.)

A bit of searching revealed that NJ.com and MLive.com have the same corporate overlord, per Wikipedia the 46th-largest company in the United States. Advance Publications also owns Conde Nast, which indirectly ties my New Yorker subscription to the rantings of semi-literate trolls in Hillsboro, Oregon. My neck feels funny now.

To sum up: every ominous factoid you've heard about media consolidation is likely true. Not only are there ignorant, bigoted people everywhere, wherever you go you'll find exactly the same ignorant, bigoted people, operating under different aliases. Back into the swamp!

The Mind of the Average Troll

Ex-Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick bunking with convicted killer in Jackson prison

Very funny. Kwame Kilpatrick is a loser and a crook, but this is low. Farther down, bruthas_back tries to derail the thread with a Bush/Cheney reference, and the incipient racism boils over.

I want to return to B'wana, above. For a long time I couldn't figure out why every single article relating to Kwame Kilpatrick drew dozens of spiteful comments, and why these comments depressed me so much. Mostly people just reaffirm his criminality and general sleaziness. Occasionally they compare him to Coleman Young or make labored points about What The Black Community Is Really Like Because I Know For Real. MLive's Kwame updates become less and less relevant, but the commenters' appetite for them doesn't wane.

No one could accuse me of having an excess of faith in human nature. I don't know why I didn't realize this immediately. They're piling on Kilpatrick not because they particularly dislike him, but because he's an easy target. I can't tell where B'wana lives, but I seriously doubt it's near Detroit. He's tuning in not because he's personally interested in a public figure in his community, but because he understands that he can indulge his worst instincts. Kilpatrick is already a pariah. Bashing him is actually more fun than bashing poor people, immigrants, or Muslims, because he won't face any pushback. By this time, vanishingly few will bother to defend Kilpatrick.

Kilpatrick-related threads depress me every time because they have less and less substance, deal less and less with events of public importance, yet have the same or greater level of vitriol. The commenters can't or won't just let it go because these threads are their special safe place.

Hands Across the Water

Detroit-Windsor bridge battle creates strange political bedfellows on both sides of river

This is chunga's hobbyhorse. I could have taken an identical screenshot from any number of MLive articles. My usual remarks re: knee-jerk comments that do not demonstrate engagement with the topic of the article still stand.

That said, the future of an international crossing that currently accounts for 25% of merchandise trade between the United States and Canada is part of the government's core functionality. Less spending, in this case, means allowing a crucial piece of physical and economic infrastructure to deteriorate, impeding trade. This has a direct negative effect on the local economy. The only private-sector company with a stake in the issue is Matty Moroun's Ambassador Bridge Company, and the Canadian government has blocked his plans to build a second span alongside the first. Absent U.S. and Canadian government spending, how does chunga propose to resolve the situation? An old-fashioned bridge raising?

He Can't Stop Picking at It

Man found dead at Stonegate and Kleinpell in Flint

FlintRobber believes Jello Biafra was right. Except when he says it, he's not being satirical.

And he follows the story as it develops, commenting on the updated article:

Neighbor who witnessed aftermath of double shooting reminded of own son's 2009 homicide

If she's scum, what does it matter to you where she lives?

He Just Had to Go There, Didn't He

As weather warms, police warn about meth dump sites in roadside ditches

This is actually a public-health article, though you wouldn't know it from the comments. Free-floating bile: not just for zero-g airsickness.

Come to think of it, this could be attached to any article containing the word "meth." I think cocotoo just flunked the Turing Test.

He Is Judge, Jury, and Executioner

Four suspects in Lansing drug-related killing could face federal death penalty

It's not clear to me why the crime is being prosecuted at the federal instead of state level. To the commenters, however, these are petty distinctions.

I'm sure that's what Shayla Johnson's family had engraved on her headstone: "Member of the Herd. Culled July 23, 2010." Cloverville may intend to condemn the murderers, but in doing so he invokes the worst kind of eliminationist rhetoric. In his world, there are good people and bad people. The bad people will kill each other and be killed by the state. Sure, there'll be some collateral damage, but none of the victims are really people anyway, not like you and me.

Civil Rights Are Only for People We Like

Attorney for Essexville man charged as part of Bay City drug conspiracy asks federal judge to suppress evidence

To clarify: at the time of his most recent arrest the man in question was on parole for kidnapping and assault. He was in fact carrying drugs. He sounds like a shady character who has done nasty things. That does not, however, deprive him of his rights, one of which is the right not to be randomly stopped, questioned, and searched by police with no warrant or immediate probable cause.

Ah, for the days when Bay City was full of white Catholics who mowed their lawns! Back then, law-abiding Polacks could rough up and detain anyone, at any time, for the crime of Looking Suspicious. perles appears unaware that there is a distinction between "municipal police force" and "vigilante justice."

A Perennial Favorite

Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick arrives in Jackson prison after hearing in federal court

You know what's hilarious? Prison rape!

Fun with Antecedents

Federal immigration agents accused of 'stalking' parents dropping off kids at Detroit school

Oh, you mean the kids? They go to school because that's where all the books and teachers are.

That's not what you meant? You should be aware that the ICE agents weren't "just doing their jobs." They're prohibited by law from conducting operations in or near schools.

Yes, and Family Fare is Like Just Italy

Editorial: Growth of Hispanic population should be reflected in seats of power

This being the Grand Rapids Press, they couldn't print an editorial about demographic shifts without not-so-subtly implying that most of West Michigan's Hispanic residents are just residents, not citizens. But noclue needs no prompting:

If shopping at Wal-Mart was like stepping into Mexico, I would go there more often. I'd take a week off and hang out at Wal-Mart. You know, climbing the pyramids, going to the beach, eating awesome Mexican food, dancing to cumbia music. Unfortunately, Wal-Mart is nothing like Mexico. For starters, Mexico is outdoors and most Wal-Marts have a roof.

Silly Women, Having Opinions

More than 200 gather in downtown Grand Rapids to protest proposed state cuts

It's fun to bash union members, but it's even more fun to bash women. The protester in the accompanying photograph has breasts, which naturally disqualifies her from expressing political views. Does hatintaxes have breasts? (Some men do. Ain't no shame.) Would this disqualify him from expressing political views?

We'll Take What We Can Get

University of Michigan economists project brighter job picture for Michigan

For which read: socio-economic mobility is for losers. Some people are stupid and deserve to be poor. Come to think of it, why bother mandating a minimum wage when people like entrepreneurial spirit can tell you what you ought to be earning?

Free Us from the Tyranny of Increased Information!

Will an FDA plan for menus to show calorie counts change ordering, eating habits?

Why address substantive food or public health issues when you can insult an unrelated third party?

For bonus points, insert the phrase "triflin', no-account" before "worthless husband," below.

Kick 'Em While They're Down, Part II

Heroin use on rise: Genesee County agency treating more young people

It took a long night in jail in dire physical condition after being arrested for armed robbery to get [Ben] Johnson to resolve to turn his life around. "The ultimate decision was my own that I needed to stop, but I couldn't do it without the rehab centers and the programs,” he said. He spent several months in inpatient and outpatient rehab programs and hasn’t touched an opiate since. Today, he counsels others in 12-step treatment programs and speaks to youths about his struggles in an effort to reach them before it’s too late.

Too bad:

And:

I am sure Mr. Johnson is pleased to know that your thoughts and prayers are with him, but he'd probably rather have reliable access to recovery programs and quality health care than your grudging, mealy-mouthed gestures of support.

Dept. of Get That Record Player Fixed Already

Blacks seek new clout in once-white suburbs

Apparently the fearsome poor blacks have reached their clawlike hands up the socio-economic ladder only to drag nice white people like NOBOMA down past the rung marked "Third-World Abject Poverty." If NOBOMA finds proximity to black people an ongoing area of concern, perhaps he should move to New Hampshire, where there aren't any. If proximity to people is the problem, he should try Montana. Also, I suspect the number of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in a given community has little to no correlation with its racial composition.

To reiterate: just as every day is Heterosexuality Awareness Day, the vast majority of television shows that are not The Boondocks or 106 & Park are about white people. This has been a public service announcement. You're welcome.

Your 1st Amendment Right to Be an Douchebag

Federal judge says SMART must accept 'Leaving Islam?' bus ads

I give this one points for use of the word "Levantine," but take them back again for his blithe assumption that all Muslims, everywhere, constitute a single nation. The irony is that what he believes has already taken place -- i.e., the unification of all Muslims into a global theocracy--is the very thing Al-Qaeda wants but hasn't achieved.

An actual "pro-union hipster college douchebag anarchist" would be a fearsome chimera, and would inevitably tear itself apart when the hipster realized it was part douchebag and the anarchist realized it was pro-union.

Just a Little Comic Relief, People

Police: Eleven 'malnourished' dogs seized from Huron Township residence; house was home to teenagers believed to be parents of stillborn boy found in Port Hope attic

This is a horrible, tragic story. It does, however, lack one crucial element. Hillbilly jokes!

It takes monumental callousness to respond to news of extreme poverty, incest, stillbirth, and animal cruelty with bad jokes implying that some people are just like that, you know, and we shouldn't have expected anything better from them.

Fuzzy Math

Police arrest two in alleged bribe attempt of Michigan Secretary of State worker

Paying a $1,500 bribe for a driver's license amounts to paying a 600% markup on the standard fee. I'm not clear on how this constitutes theft of state revenue.

We Will Tell You Which Rights You Deserve

Muskegon prison inmates forced to give DNA in state police sweep authorized by Tony Tague

Taking DNA samples by force without a court order, even from convicted felons, is in fact illegal in Michigan. State prison officials are working on a bill that will make it legal, but the Muskegon county prosecutor decided he didn't need any silly state law and swabbed everybody's spit anyway.

If prisoners have no rights, what's stopping guards and wardens from staging gladiatorial contests in which inmates fight to the death? And if capital punishment is cheaper than lifelong incarceration, isn't a bullet to the back of the head cheaper than a trial?

I think active members of the military would be surprised to learn that they have no rights. On the other hand, Pfc. Bradley Manning no doubt agrees with this assessment.

Your 1st & 2nd Amendment Rights in One Convenient Package

Former Gov. Granholm's portrait to be unveiled on May 6 at Capitol

I expected lame cracks about her appearance, but found so much more.

It's never a bad time for assassination jokes!