Two Bigots For The Price Of One

Letter: Gay-Straight Alliance can play necessary role

Astronomy Teacher respectfully disagrees with homosexuals regarding their right to exist, tis_himself calls them out, and they go at it over three pages of comments. BO can't resist the opportunity to get in a good jab:

First, BO is mistaken. Second, who actually uses "spade" as a racial slur these days? And third, why does he attempt to derail every thread with faux anti-racist non sequiturs?

Breaking: Holland Gay Community Actually Exists

Editorial: Why the Holland City Council should increase gay rights protections

Given the Grand Rapids Press' track record on political endorsements, if their editorial board concludes that anti-gay discrimination is wrong you can be sure that equality has gone mainstream. No, no, say commenters: this is an example of burdensome government regulation! You're supposed to oppose that kind of thing!

The irony is that anti-gay measures like sodomy laws are about as controlling and intrusive as government regulation can get. Also: thanks, Shamuzoo!

Those pansies, mincing around as if they thought the equal protection clause applied to them! Next thing you know they'll want to get married and join the military. The nerve!

Won't The Bugs Just Crawl Under The Fence, Though?

From the Comments: Readers critical of Flint's South Side Task Force prostitution sting

Apparently the city got a federal grant earmarked for anti-prostitution enforcement. They're not getting their money's worth, though, as they only managed to arrest three women and one man.

Instead of resorting to same-old, same-old complaints that government is misusing taxpayers' money or ignoring more serious crimes, haveafunday goes for the gold. Racism and eliminationism for the win!

Soccer Is For Homosexuals And Unwashed Foreigners

Commentary: Can Detroit support Major League Soccer? Ford Field crowd requires perspective

You can't have it both ways, B'wana. Either soccer is a savage game, a pitched battle between opposing hordes of brown people, or it's for "puffs." If it's one of those faggy European games, like badminton or croquet, wouldn't it be beneath the notice of all those foreign hooligans?

All You Perverts Are The Same Anyway

Teen sentenced to prison for engaging in sexual activity with 5-year-old

We can always rely on BO to make a bad situation feel even scummier.

"Severely gay" means you're, like, a Kinsey 10.

Ladies, The Weight Of The World Rests On Your Frail Shoulders

From Muskegon: Gun violence: Devising a plan to 'take the neighborhoods back'

Unlike hellomi (who is female), I do not possess Special Woman Powers that allow me to exert long-distance mind control over boyfriends and male relatives, thus keeping them on the path of virtue. This renders me morally culpable for any number of crimes that may or may not have been committed by any man I have ever dated or shared living space with. I await your condemnation and social ostracism!

And from Saginaw: Trial to continue today for Saginaw man accused of sexually assaulting young girl five times

Special Woman Powers also come in handy for divining whether one's boyfriend is likely to commit crimes in the future.

Due diligence: not just for the legal profession. Steal your boyfriend's ID and run a criminal background check on him, ladies. If you don't, be prepared to shoulder the downfall of civilized society.

What The Hell, They're Only Cats

Two Michigan Humane Society board members quit over kill rate of around 70 percent

Those namby-pamby bleeding hearts believed that a nonprofit whose stated mission is "To end companion animal homelessness, to provide the highest quality service and compassion to the animals entrusted to our care, and to be a leader in promoting humane values," should actually save animals. How naive!

Let's unpack this. "What good MHS can accomplish," in this context, means treating more animals and placing them in loving homes. That MHS is euthanizing more animals doesn't mean that they're making painful decisions necessary for the organization's continued survival. It means they're failing in their core mission, and it disturbs me that shanedr doesn't recognize this.

Ain't Nobody Here But Me (Redux)

Sometimes people ask if this blog is a paid endeavor. It is, but only insofar as you, the readers, pay me, the blogger. For reasons I can barely explain, I've become passionate about this project. It occupies a moderate amount of my time, and time has value. If you read this blog regularly and find it valuable or at least entertaining, consider tossing me some change.

We Reserve the Right to Judge Your Recreational Choices

Indecent exposure suspect arrested after he returns to Wyoming park

At least the flashers stand still, says Miss Anne. The joggers, with their constant motion...the cyclists, with their cogs and gears...physical exercise! It's enough to give one the vapors.

I Don't Think That's What She Meant

Concord woman accused of driving while under the influence of methadone with two children in car

If, when you hear the phrase "IQ test," the first words that pop into your head are "Charles Murray's groundbreaking magnum opus The Bell Curve!" then yes, this is a racist statement. If you already believe that everyone who is not Of The Color Of The Angels is born stupid, ditto.

If not, this statement probably strikes you as run-of-the-mill eugenics.

He Ain't Afraid To Tell It Like It Is

Prosecutors won't bring charges against Warren homeowner who shot teen burglar

True to his name, this commenter lays it all out there:

This in the absence of any pointers referring to the shooter's or victim's race.

Breaking: NAACP, Churches True Causes of Muskegon Street Crime

Local clergymen, law enforcement officials, community members stand united in fight against violence

Or at least that's what they want you to think.

Instead of strategizing against violence, community leaders and political activists are conspiring to incite violence, so they can charge exorbitant speakers' fees at a greater number of funerals and anti-violence rallies. Obviously!

Vampires? Like Literally, With Fangs?

Pontiac emergency financial manager to cancel union contract for police dispatchers

Ah, the return of the Underpants Gnome Theory of American Prosperity!

1. Eliminate workplace safety standards, wage & hour laws, etc.
2. ...
3. Everybody gets a car!

Also, how could you bring yourself to kill something this cute?

Apparently teachers are worth less than Taco Bell employees, whose starting salary is $1.25 above minimum wage. They are, however, worth more than the Indonesian who stitched BeckIsAHero's t-shirt.

Gay Capital of Michigan Debates Formally Acknowledging Existence of Homosexuality

Saugatuck Schools to decide if gay/lesbian 'coming out' video should be in sex ed class

Once again, commenters come out in force to defend their right to discriminate against gays, while warding off phantom discrimination against Christians. Here, mdewey does my work for me:

It's heartening to see this kind of pushback. It's disheartening to see commenters state that they would speak hate to Jesus.

I will acknowledge that HalloweenJack may have a valid point on the day that a same-sex version of The Bachelor airs on national television.

Commenters Ask: Where's the Hate? [UPDATED]

Gay Straight Alliance faces some opposition at Columbia Central High School

Once again, the very existence of a support group for gay and questioning teenagers constitutes an existential threat to heterosexuality. Surprisingly, most commenters hold off on blatant hate in favor of a passive-aggressive approach.

For every Exodus International "success story," there's a corresponding high-profile sex scandal, usually involving evangelical preachers and rent boys. I'm just saying.

It's rare to find an MLive commenter calling on others to lower the level of discourse.

For the record, this commenter is an idiot. The allegedly "censored" remarks are still online as of this post:

One gets the impression they're lurking, waiting for someone to point out that they're being hateful, so they can claim they're being stifled by political correctness.

It's like this: you can laugh at whatever jokes you want, as long as I can continue to remind you why laughing at those jokes makes you a hateful, mean-spirited person.

[Updated: I found the hate!

Seeing as the Senate repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and the Supreme Court ruled that outlawing butt sex was unconstitutional, BO hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Don't tell BO, but I think Fantabulous Fudge employees might already be married.

It's possible he's confusing "abhorrent" with "aberrant." Then again, maybe he does feel that strongly.]

Breaking: Black People Don't Like Video Games

Grand Blanc gamers celebrate unofficial world record for mass gaming, waiting for Guiness World Records to confirm title

Photos show a predominantly white crowd, and patman knows why.

If we're looking at a 10-minute block of time, which one can spend a) playing video games, or b) seething with racist fury, the average person is going to pick Angry Birds every time. I'm just saying.

I'm Glad We Could Clear That Up

Returning to the dreadful case of the high-achieving Flushing high school graduates, Old Man Mushmorton clarifies who he does and does not hate.

I think this means he promises not to call them "chinks" to their faces. Nobody tell him about the opium dens, though. I don't want to spoil his bucolic interlude. Also, what did I tell you about That Phrase? Consider yourself warned, buddy.

Oh, I see how it is. Sorry. I'll pipe down.

Non-Ironic Use of Ironic Punctuation

E-cigs: No smoke, but some areas are banning them

Old Man Mushmorton is in fine form today, but the content of the article is irrelevant and content of his comment is almost beside the point.

It's thrilling to come across this particular typo in the wild, as it were.

Cue Jungle Drums

Flint shooting leaves one man critically injured

I'm perpetually amazed at the sheer number and variety of racist stereotypes mushmorton is able to pack into a single sentence.

And here he is again: Making the grade: 13 Flushing graduates achieve higher than 4.0 GPAs

I particularly like the "white girl friend of your choice." Miscegenation panic never goes out of style.

Here We Go Again

Should Michigan drug test welfare recipients?

We went through all this some time ago, and it ended with an injunction against the law and a settlement stating that it was unconstitutional for the FIA (now DHS) to drug test without a reasonable suspicion that the welfare recipient is actually using drugs. Naturally the commentariat is eager to explain why they should be the boss of you.

Because "workers" and "welfare recipients" are vastly different classes of people, never to meet. Also: eliminationism!

If only we were a nation of Pavlik Morozovs. Also, did you know that I drink your oxygen? I drink it all up!

I don't think dh realizes that by this logic, if he earns less than $166,000 per year or thereabouts, he too is a bottom feeder.

On a related note: Finding summer employment won't be easy for teenagers.

Why would anyone want stupid welfare or food stamps if they could have free slave labor instead?

You Ruined Grand Rapids, You Damn Commies!

See how much Rapid transit millage supporters spent on successful effort to expand bus service

Because campaign spending is always suspect, and therefore newsworthy, when the campaign's outcome benefits poor people.

If by "gloating," you mean "taking the bus," then yes, people are gloating. Also note that FairVoice finds it unfair that other people should have a voice. Oh, the irony!

I'm Just Waitin' In Line For My Government Heroin

10 years of Grand Rapids' drug needle exchange program: Why backers say it works

No, sweetie, Mars Hill and Dick and Betsy DeVos take their money and give it to drug addicts. Somehow, commenters are able simultaneously to decry government intervention and to deny or overlook the very existence of private charity. This never ceases to amaze me.

Contrary to popular belief, you cannot get high by inhaling the delightful aroma of poppies, nor is incinerating addicts with roadside bombs considered a form of rehabilitation.

For reference, all are welcome at this year's flamer parade, and the citizens of Houston like their lesbian mayor very much, thank you.

Might As Well Go To Jail...All My Friends Are There Already

Young male victim -- believed to be teenager -- shot in Muskegon Heights

Did you know that young black men are better off in Jackson Prison than Muskegon Heights?*

By this logic, an increased murder rate would be a positive development, simultaneously ridding society of undesirables and relieving prison overcrowding. Also, prison is already a godawful place to be, because it's, you know, prison. Making prison worse simply out of spite quickly runs up against a lower bound we call the Eighth Amendment.

No one in Muskegon Heights can hope to achieve the title of Most Ghetto. That honor is reserved for Jason Levy. And I don't recommend going for "Filthiest Person Alive," either. The bar is too high.

* Did you know that when I become a country singer, this will be the title track of my debut album?

He's Not Too Chicken To Share His Opinions

Mona Shores chicken prank not so funny after all

If it begins with throwing chickens over walls, it's going to end badly. In this case, with chicken shit and suspension.

I think this is a dissenting view, but it's hard to tell what thor is talking about. One thing is clear: people he doesn't like are having the kind of sex he doesn't approve of. Other comments provide no clarification. In related news, I now favor comma rationing.

Non-Correlation Vs. Non-Causation

Grand Blanc city police investigating death of 42-year-old woman; foul play suspected

Take note, Dwelling Place. Has your maintenance staff received training in corpse disposal? They're going to need it! Those low-income tenants, they just up and kill each other all the time. You never know what's going to set them off.

Fight Crime By Fighting Crime Victims

Police identify 19-year-old man killed in Flint shooting

Native American's comment had been removed by the time I looked at the thread. It goes without saying that the north end of Flint is a predominantly black area.

Once all the racists are shipped to Siberia, who will be left to post on MLive? Think of the children!

Here's a thought: perhaps czfan believes the word "racist" is overused because he hears it frequently, and perhaps he hears it frequently because he frequently makes racist remarks. But hey, it's not his fault that he's the only one brave enough to face the truth!

All of this meta-anti-anti garbage confuses flintriverbottom, who prefers straight up racism, no chaser.