Wow. Just Wow.

Rep. John Conyers fights to spare entitlement programs in second-round of deficit reduction

Let's take this one slowly, point by point.

1. Everyone in Los Angeles is black.
2. Ditto pre-Katrina New Orleans.
3. All black people live in desperate poverty.
4. People living in desperate poverty are subhuman.
5. As subhuman leech-rat-ape things, they cannot control their lizard brains.
6. The solution is preemptive lynching.

Everybody knows that if you spell out a word instead of saying it, children and the simpleminded won't understand what you mean. Lesnar just wants to let the racially pure know that he's got their backs without tipping off the mud people.

This Is Totally Not What The Article Was About

Sales tax for online retailers? John Conyers sponsors bill to 'level the playing field'

I can't help but imagine all the welfare recipients bundled in a European-style shopping bag slung over a hardworking white Christian's back, with little hands and feet sticking out of the mesh, and little voices crying for help.

It's possible that claiming a majority-black Congressional district is by definition an economic drag on the state is in fact racist. Possibly. Of course, the real problem is that white people still have to pay sales tax.

Never The Twain Shall Meet

Worth reading: Americans 'disgusted' with debt ceiling fight; wealth gap between whites, minorities widens

deathby2 appears to believe that the gap between "rich" and "poor" is analogous to the divide between Brahmins and Dalit within the Hindu caste system. Those born poor cannot hope to rise from the squalor of their upbringing; those born rich are magically protected by lion-mounted goddesses. What's worse, the poor are still burdened by the gold standard, leaving them with a fixed pool of available funds. The rich have no such limitations.

So what I want to know is how I can get my hands on some of this "rich people money." Does it look different, or feel different? Or is it one of those things that you can't describe, but you know it when you find it? Has deathby2 ever seen any?

On a side note, deathby2's comment may be linked to the perennial complaint that white women aren't having enough white babies, but it's difficult to say exactly how.

You Should Also Stop Breathing Air, Parasite

Julie Mack column: American attitude on health-care spending is unhealthy for our economy

I remain convinced that Charles Weyland wears sunglasses in his profile picture to conceal his cold reptilian eyes.

Apparently the only real taxes are income taxes. Sales taxes and license fees and such are more like tipping for service. It follows that as a non-taxpayer I should refrain from burdening the system. It won't be easy. Just today, I've selfishly taken advantage of city roads, municipal sewers, streetlights, sidewalks, interstate highways, non-contaminated food, clean tap water, and smog-free air. Not to mention the government-regulated radio spectrum and government-subsidized electrical grid built on public lands! Tomorrow I plan to make unfair use of the post office and the library.

Three Quick Hits (Okay, Four)

Update: Evening shooting results in Saginaw's sixth homicide

Like knock-knock jokes, but racist!

The only thing missing is pseudo-urban dialect. Oh, wait.

Your Personal Waybac Machine

Two-year old son of child murderer Jeffrey Malmberg will not be reunited with his mother

Sometimes a commenter produces a screed so vile that someone actually flags it for removal. I know, crazy, isn't it? Such is the case with the comment below.

A nod towards "Mooslems," or perhaps unions, would really take things to the next level, but Chetdroman runs out of steam. When challenged, he returns with rationalizations, but the magic is gone.

Can't Take A Joke, Can You

Teen mother of baby found dead in Port Hope attic to be charged

You may remember this story from an April blog post, in which we learned that the appropriate response to desperate poverty, abuse, and incest is yet another hillbilly joke. Three months on, the same holds true.

Elsewhere on the thread, suegee47 allows that if the close relative of a 13-year-old girl impregnates her, it could possibly have been rape, and outtaBC4good states the girl should be sent to "mental rehab" to learn personal hygiene, or possibly how to choose better parents. Also:

The absence of welfare, obviously, would spur the family towards entrepreneurship, perhaps in the pharmaceutical field. 

I'm Sure Everything Will Be Fine, Dear

Grand Rapids Police to step up foot patrols downtown in effort to improve safety

Next step: internal passport controls! Grand Rapids' four geographic divisions will be treated as separate cantons, similar to post-war occupied Vienna. In order to pass between neighborhoods, all residents must present documents stating the purpose of their journey. If civilization is crumbling, martial law might not be a bad idea, in which case foot patrols won't cut it. The cops demand rocket-powered motorcycles, with spikes and lasers and things.

Covering All The Bases

Michigan Senate approves tighter 48-month welfare limit

Sometimes, I stumble across comments that blend multiple forms of hate into a perfect storm of ignorance. This is one of them. Sluts, forced sterilization, demonization of poor people, calls for personal responsibility, positioning of self as a lone truth-teller: he's got it all

Strangely, rightside's vision of personal accountability involves eliminating the right of self-determination, not to mention establishing an intrusive fascistic nanny state.

I Will De-Gentrify You With My Ghetto Renter Powers

8,687 homes empty in Jackson County; one in seven houses are vacant in city

But don't even think about renting them out, especially not to poor people.

I would guess that southbeagle also opposes cash-grant and subsidized-loan programs that bring the cost of real estate within the reach of low-income families. Can't have the government coddling people, but then you can't have people renting houses. Such a bind!

Vacant houses attract raccoons, vandals, and crackheads; these, however, are preferable to actual rent-paying tenants.

Learning that my friends and I are personally working towards the destruction of our respective neighborhoods really brightened my day. I had no idea we possessed such power!

I Get My Food Stamps From Sallie Mae

From the comments: Horn: Proposal for four-year life limit on welfare in Michigan could spur entrepreneurship

How, exactly, people are supposed to transform from "living paycheck to meager paycheck" to "successful small-business startup" never becomes clear, so don't bother scouring the article for hot tips.

In charlie's world, even the school of hard knocks charges tuition. He also seems to have spent the Clinton Administration in a fugue state, having never heard of this thing called welfare reform.

Let's Play Boy Detective!

Mother of missing Ludington baby thinks suspect 'snapped' under pressure

I would rather commenters simply stated that the stupid slut should have known better than to get knocked up, rather than make insinuations based on her appearance.

We're really taking it to the next level here. Does jepe1975 possess a generic photograph marked "Heartbroken Parent (Female)" for purposes of comparison? Are sackcloth and ashes required, or will red-rimmed eyes suffice?

Even Muggers Like A Piece Of Fruit Sometimes

Transformation Detroit: Eastern Market fights food desert myth with Tuesday hours

But lalayaya, this is what gives DISAMBIGUATION the deepest satisfaction. When commenters can't find a negative aspect of the story, they invent one. Don't deprive them of their only flashes of creativity!

And Lo, It Comes To Pass [UPDATED]

Dark Past: Michigan sterilized more than 3,000 people from early 1900s to 1970s

Indeed, commenters do not disappoint.

FlintRobber appears to have read neither the article nor any of the other comnents.

[Updated with more commenters calling for the sterilization of people they don't like, with no apparent sense of irony.

I particularly like this appeal to nostalgia:

I need not remind readers that the past few decades saw vast cultural shifts, one of which being a general movement away from medical paternalism and towards a crazy vision in which everyone, not just straight white middle-income men, deserves basic autonomy and freedom to make informed choices. Of course, absentlyric would conclude that our society is the result of rampant breeding by the unfit.

In this utopia, abortion is free, but consists of ninjast4r beating you in the abdomen until you pass out. Birth control is also free; women below a predetermined income level will be issued a Dick Cheney rubber mask which either they or their partner must wear while engaging in any sexual contact. Also, he really should get in touch with mushmorton. They're a match made in heaven!

Sorry, Out Of Service

MTA bus driver shot while driving down Stonegate Drive in Flint

Collective punishment is a war crime under the Fourth Geneva Convention. If B17 and his cohorts consider Flint a war zone, they would do well to brush up on international law.

Commenters use their powers of clairvoyance and groupthink to divine the shooter's home address. They will retrieve his phone number from the murky aether momentarily, and produce a composite sketch by tomorrow morning.

Note that the article gives no information about any suspects. All speculation about the shooter was supplied by the commenters, and by the end of the thread they believe their own stories.

We Hate Children. Especially Yours.

Believe 2 Become launching $3 million effort to prepare kids for kindergarten

Developmentally, the most crucial years are between zero and three, so you'd think more early childhood intervention programs would be a fantastic idea. You would be dreadfully mistaken. Check the remainder of the thread for bonus eugenics action!

The parents are fools for having children, the children are fools for not choosing better parents, and the educators are fools for reaching out to people who clearly do not deserve their work.

My child's preschool is an investment in the future. Your child's preschool is a money-sucking hotbed of government indoctrination.

Believe 2 Become's educators, administrators, and community outreach workers would be very surprised to learn that they are not, in fact, employed.

Ask Me About My Masters In Social Work!

Legislator seeks to close Bridge Card loophole for Lotto winners

Just as Raymond Pistachio will tell you whether you have been raped, CMW will tell you whether or not you are poor. High caseload means his backlog is horrendous, though. By the time he gets around to a decision you may even die of starvation. He's saving taxpayer dollars, one dead child at a time.

Here We Go Again

Should Michigan drug test welfare recipients?

We went through all this some time ago, and it ended with an injunction against the law and a settlement stating that it was unconstitutional for the FIA (now DHS) to drug test without a reasonable suspicion that the welfare recipient is actually using drugs. Naturally the commentariat is eager to explain why they should be the boss of you.

Because "workers" and "welfare recipients" are vastly different classes of people, never to meet. Also: eliminationism!

If only we were a nation of Pavlik Morozovs. Also, did you know that I drink your oxygen? I drink it all up!

I don't think dh realizes that by this logic, if he earns less than $166,000 per year or thereabouts, he too is a bottom feeder.

On a related note: Finding summer employment won't be easy for teenagers.

Why would anyone want stupid welfare or food stamps if they could have free slave labor instead?

You Ruined Grand Rapids, You Damn Commies!

See how much Rapid transit millage supporters spent on successful effort to expand bus service

Because campaign spending is always suspect, and therefore newsworthy, when the campaign's outcome benefits poor people.

If by "gloating," you mean "taking the bus," then yes, people are gloating. Also note that FairVoice finds it unfair that other people should have a voice. Oh, the irony!

Non-Correlation Vs. Non-Causation

Grand Blanc city police investigating death of 42-year-old woman; foul play suspected

Take note, Dwelling Place. Has your maintenance staff received training in corpse disposal? They're going to need it! Those low-income tenants, they just up and kill each other all the time. You never know what's going to set them off.